Do Players ever fall in Love?

Interesting Read & Insights from a Player.

Have you ever come across a Player….or someone who you think is a Player…..Or acts like a Player? Read the following thoughts & insights from a client of mine wanting to share how he feels.

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Can players fall in love?

Yes, we can.

But there is something you need to know about us ‘players.’

We’ve been let down a lot, we’re broken deep inside, hurt. We’ve loved before, we’ve given before and we’ve been taken granted before.

I’m not just talking love as with women but in every aspect, from very young age, from sisters, brothers, parents, friends, school, college and world around us, we have been hammered.

From early on we feel disappointed and as we get older we build like a strong steel shell around our hearts, emotions and feelings. It’s why you see us always happy, playing around, flirting, being fun, outrageous in our flirting with girls and later women.

We do that because it helps us forget the horrors, the pains, the insecurity and also the fear that maybe we are not supposed to be loved at all.

You won’t see it in our face, you will think we don’t care about what you say but whatever you say and it hurts, it will hurt us but we don’t show it. We’ll pretend we are strong but really we are disappointed you let us down.

We’d hope you be someone different. We hoped that you’d be the one who can help us heal. We’d hope you’d be the one who doesn’t play the mind games and accept us for all our bs and someone who isn’t going to try and fix us.

We hoped you let it happen naturally and without deadlines of relationships and just love us, instead of pushing for a relationship, for this and that because you got to make your dad, mum proud, or show off to Facebook friends and Instagram.

As lovers, for loyalty we are number 1.

If you look at us even with our gang members of friends, if you can see and look into our relatives such as brothers, sisters, mum and dad; you’d see we care a lot. You’d see we’re like dark knights putting sometimes our own feelings aside to inspire them and help them, and sometimes it does backfire, so another disappointment for us.

You’d see we help our friends quietly and when someone dies, you will not see our pain in our faces. You’ll just see us with hands in our pockets or leaning on a wall, or just standing a bit further as everyone is showing chaos with their emotions.

We’re just waiting when we’re alone and then we will crumble and no one will see our tears, or how we feel.

And sure, you want to know why we don’t show our feelings to you if you’re a woman.

It’s because we don’t trust women.

We have seen what many women do to men who open their hearts to them. We have seen men who have helped someone they like, who spend time, money, heart felt conversation and emotions for weeks, months and then the same women when this guy asks her out, she punishes him by going with someone else.

We have seen being open with our feelings is not good at all with women.

We have seen this even as teens and what girls/women say about they want someone open with their feelings become nothing more than empty words.

We have seen how girls, women will say they love a man, they adore him, they promise love, life long relationship, that he is their life, their light, their saturn, moon, jupitar, sun and moon, and heaven but then she will just like that turn on him, devalue him, hurt him because she lost interest in him, or she used him for attention because she was bored, or she wanted to big up her self esteem, or she found some other interest in another guy.

We as players have seen women play with men’s hearts, emotions, goals and dreams, that it has destroyed some men.

And women will not do that only when they grow up, lose their youth that they settle down, handle their emotions and realise time is ticking, and it’s time to stop with these games, this chase for emotional feelings at the expense of someone else’s life.

That’s why we cannot take girls/women words seriously.

You don’t know but we are extremely fragile.

We are extremely sensitive.

We have very deep emotions and we are always in our heads, replaying the memories of the past, of the pains, of our disappointments, of our failures.

We reply the memories of that guy who was innocent, naive, who believed in pure love, who believed that he will find someone who will love him, and he will live forever with her, and she will never desert him.

But we have buried this young man under a debris of hurt, disappointments and memories of girls who have failed to live up to their words.

Some of us weren’t born players.

Some of us didn’t just get up and say, “I am going to be player.”

Many of us have become what we are due to seeing how it really is in world today. Girls, women fall in love with the excitement, with the rush, with the confidence, with the imagination and yes, we now use all this to attract the girls, the women.

Can you blame us to not show our emotions?

Can you blame us to not make it easy on you and hold our words about love, about commitment?

It takes a long time for us to fall in love with a woman. It takes time for us to comitt and we cannot allow any woman to believe she got us because she may try to devalue, she may try the same games others have done unto us.

She will always know we are good with attracting women, at sex, at all the things many men are not. She will know we have wide range of options until we are sure, very sure, that she is genuine, she is real and even then, we will still be on our toes, just in case.

That’s why it will take time.

A woman cannot do what she does to other men, she can’t push it with love, she cannot come out with “what are we,” and she knows she can’t because she knows we are players, so she has to be patient. She cannot do the fixing and changing because she knows if we smell she does that, we are moving on.

We don’t like drama.

We don’t want anymore drama in our life.

So if a woman got issues with their parents, her self esteem and some fantasy that love happens fast, best to clean that up first.

If you snap at us, we will disappear.

If you listen to your friends who judge us, we will know. It’s why women start acting up and start saying..

“what are we?”

We know what women want to hear. That we don’t see them as a sex object but you objectify us every damn day.

You objectify us with power.

You objectify us with status.

You objectify us with our looks and style.

Many girls never gave a damn with us when we just normal type of guys because we were not exciting enough, powerful enough and didn’t have status.

Now we do, we are blamed for not being attracted to them or we are blamed because we don’t see sex as some matrimonial or relationship contract.

Now we get blamed from nice guys, to nerds, to girls and women who all want to fix us, all want to point the blame on us for their failures.

Our armour is strong and you’ll not see us just lowering our defences so easily.

If she makes anything a big deal, from even sex, we know she’s playing, we know she’s insecure about something, we know she thinks sex is something to use and we know she fears being judged, slut shamed or the guy disappears when sex happens.

So we know, she wants to control us and that’s why we move on.

But as time goes by, layer after layer, if she doesn’t do that, we shed our steel armour.

It will take time and if the woman cannot wait, that’s fine by us. We have others who want to try but the one who doesn’t push it, who doesn’t try to frame a relationship or commitment and just flows with it, is fun, outgoing, is someone we like to be around with, is someone that makes us forget the world out there and our nightmares even for a little; she will see our true face.

She will see we are deeply romantics, lovers, who want to fall deep in love, we who want to be her hero.

But she has to first be the players hero.

And that’s what so many women don’t get.

Instead of that, we are labelled as bad boys, players, fuckboys but we are someone’s son, we are someone’s friend, we are loyal to someone and we are there protecting someone or some people but all the women say or see is player, bad boy, fuckboy because of what?

Because we are going to play by their rules.

We are not going to just suddenly show our emotions, get commitment, be in a serious relationship on their deadline, on their program.

If we are fuckboys, how many guys these women been with, one after another, and they call that monogamy?

Moment women think that, we know, we see it in their behaviour and we see this lack of trust and suspicion.

It’s not something new.

We know this pattern, we know it’s words, we know it’s behaviour, we know it so well that we can identify it when it happens.

If love is a chase, if love has a deadline, if love is something you are planning and not cultivating, nurturing, then forget us players.

Choose some guy who will easily believe and fall for the words of love.

But we can’t.

We won’t let someone destroy us anymore.

That steel armour with many layers is going to stay up until we find that one woman is compatible in many ways with us.

Be our best friend first as a lover.

Be someone we know we can rely on.

Be someone who isn’t going to fix and change us and let it happen in the natural way.

Be someone who is consistent because you need to be as it will take longer with us to trust, fall in love with you for real.

Yes, we fall in love but we don’t just do it because she’s hot, she’s good at sex and she’s saying she loves the guy.

She’s done that already with other guys who lay broken behind her.

When we decide to fall in love, it is serious.

When we keep coming back and back talking to her, when we text lots, when we call, when we are willing to do things that even she won’t do, she should know this player is serious but moment we find she acts distant, moment she starts doing what many do, we will easily, without a thought, move on but we will feel deeply hurt.

We won’t give her a chance again.

There is no answer on earth that can tell you how to get us players back because that is why, we have options.

That is why we remind women, that she is not the only one until she shows us that her player can be the only one for her and doing it natural not forced, without fixing and changing, and games.

 

Anon

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